Mary That Motha Oh God! #667

Photo by Tony Gibble Photography

Just a little more than evil.

First Bout?

2006 Exhibition

Best position?

All up in your business.

What brought you to DDR?

My friend Caroline had a birthday party at the Castle, and I heard that the new Lancaster derby league would be practicing there that night. I stuck around and was glad to find a bunch of ladies that could help me fulfill my dastardly potential.

What keeps your wheels turning?

A love of roller skating, competition, and the smart physicality of derby. I’m not sorry to say that my silly homegrown slap club is put to shame by the sport of roller derby. Also, skaters like Shenita Stretcher, Robin Drugstores, Virginia Slim, Nina Knockout, Kitty Crowbar, Trudy Struction, Malice in Chains, and on (and on and on) keep me pushing harder every day.

What is your most embarrassing Derby moment?

Realizing at a league meeting last year that a “bathing suit” is different than a “swimming suit,” after I inadvertently showed off my evil goodness.

What is your proudest Derby moment?

My greatest pride comes from my recovery from my 3/07 knee injury (see below.) Each step has been a fight and redemption. Returning to skating, bouting, the All-Star team, and then becoming a regular member of the All-Stars is my most proud work. My greatest wonder is that a plump little devil like me can hold her own among such beautiful, talented, and strong women.

DDR Awards/ Fan Favorite Awards?

2007 League Favorite & Greatest Comeback Story
2007 Fan Favorite Ms. Personality
2008 League Favorite Stinkiest Pads
2008 Fan Favorite Crowd Favorite/Ms. Personality

Got any injury stories?

I’ve had my share of scrapes, bruises, broken ribs, and silly crap, but I’ve also had two significant injuries. On March 17, in my first jam during our 2007 home bout, I fell and tore cartilage in my left knee. I stayed through half the bout to cheer on my Distel Finks and later got the news that we won when doped up in the ER. I had a surgical repair in April ’07, returned to full skating in September ’07, and bouting in the home team championship in October 2008. Finks win! During scrimmaging in fall 2008, a nasty (and unintentional) hit lead to a ganglion cyst on my right wrist that I had removed in January 2009. I returned to full skating in 2 weeks and was back to bouting in February against Charm City.

Impress us with your skating skills…

Growing up in my own personal hellhole, when I got to skate at the town park’s roller rink, I always thought that the high school kids that could skate backwards were sooooo cool. Hanging my horns in defeat, I never thought I could be as cool as them. But after nearly 20 years, backwards skating is just another fire in Hell.

Derby Props?

Skates: Riedell 965 boots on DynaPro plates
Wheels: Currently using Sure Grip Pushers on the inside, red Radar Tuners on the outside. China Red bearings.
Protective Gear: My super high charged forcefield is now all I need. Seriously. Evil knows no bounds. I just use the pads and stuff because it’s a rule.
Must haves: a thirst for blood, bitchin’ leaguemates, Rice and Noodles, and loads of free time.

Send out some heart-felt Derby love to your peeps…

What can I say? Hells Yeah, DDR fans! Thanks for all your love and high fives!